If you’re thinking rightly about God and yourself, you should not hate yourself, whether it’s during the pre-fall with Adam and Eve or the post-fall with the rest of us. Forever. Joel Osteen. Dig deep within to demonstrate your worth. A note on Loving Yourself ~ The Bible says: “Love Your Neighbor as Yourself” (See #1 above). Is the phrase love yourself before you can love others Biblical? “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. (1 Corinthians 16:14), Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. There are three things you can do when you want to make a commitment and find ways to love others. In the years since then, through studying the Bible, Ive come to understand my misgivings better. If we say we can’t love others until we love ourselves, we are essentially saying Jesus gave us a third commandment. he said. Some are even self-destructive. Do you need to love yourself before you can love someone else? Loving ourselves should not be an egotistical or arrogant thing but an appreciation of our existence by the grace of God. It's amazing how much of a difference knowing even one verse by heart can change you. See reprint policy. Does God want you to hate yourself or feel bad about yourself? Anger     Anxiety    Christianity    Counseling    Culture    Depression    Marriage    Money    Parenting    Personal Growth    Relationships    Self-Image    Small Groups    Temptation. It’s pretty straightforward. Self-love has its place, yet we are happiest when we love God above all and focus on doing good things for others. 2. Your strong love for each other will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” We are commanded to love one another as Jesus does. (1 John 4:19) If so, check out this online Bible study: God’s love for me — A personal Bible study on God’s love for us. Jesus could not be talking about an impure love of yourself because He would never say you should love yourself from a sinful perspective, motive, or desire. Loving yourself before you can love someone else or can truly receive love is a lie. Once again, he wasn’t talking about feeling love. When we understand God’s love, when we deeply know he loves us, we don’t need to focus on loving ourselves. What seems to be more healthy is self-acceptance—that is, viewing yourself as a basically good person who is worthy of love, without needing to prove yourself or outshine others. Until you die. Understandably, they desperately want to escape a negative self-image. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. Whoever does not love abides in death. 1. Top 20 Bible Verses-Learning to Love Others … Want to add more verses to this list of Top 20 Bible Verses-Learning to Love Others ? When we are excited and secure in his love for us, we don’t need to try to find meaning by loving ourselves. Or stories about how one of these verses has impacted your life? (Psalm 36:7), Related: Knowing God’s love — How to be reconciled to God. No. They support this idea by pointing to Jesus’ command to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:39). Introduction: Multitudes of people, Christians included, go through life feeling discouraged, depressed, and unlovable. Let’s look at the full passage: Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. Get our latest answers straight to your inbox when you subscribe here. Let me illustrate another way you could read into this passage — and be just as wrong: Imagine that I hate myself. In fact, some people think Jesus said you must love yourself before you can love others. I’ve been writing about the idea of “loving yourself.” Now let’s take a look at what Jesus meant when he said to “love your neighbor.”. Have insights you’d like to share ? The answer is to understand the depth of God’s love, mercy, forgiveness, and grace. I know this sounds like preposterous gobbledygook to an unbeliever. That’s why the Bible actually warns against self-love. So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love. English, Arabic (العربية), French (Français), Hindi (हिन्दी), Table of Contents The plot against DanielDaniel’s faithfulnessGod’s prophet thrown to the lions’ denGod saves Daniel from the Lions’ DenDarius praises God This page is also available in: हिन्दी (Hindi)The…, This page is also available in: हिन्दी (Hindi)According to the account in Genesis, Cain was the first child of Adam and Eve followed by Abel. Will loving others ahead of yourself reduce your happiness or self-respect? Until you die. As you will see, that’s not what Jesus was saying. We are saying that loving ourselves is a precondition to loving other people. Here’s how Paul put it: After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it” (Matthew 16:24, 25 and Mark 8:34-35). Apart from God and His power, we are selfish, and loving ourselves comes much more naturally than loving others. LOVING YOURSELF FIRST (BEFORE YOU CAN LOVE OTHERS) Many people think the answer to a poor self-image is to learn to love yourself. But that’s not what he meant. Is self-hate the opposite of self-love? "Love yourself first and everything else falls into line." Hosea 3:1 | View whole chapter | See verse in context Then said the LORD unto me, Go yet, love a woman beloved of her friend, yet an adulteress, according to the love of the LORD toward the … No, because we are created in the image of God, whose primary quality is unselfish love. We have been given an abundance of Bible verses about loving others, so we can assume it’s important. 100 Love Yourself, Self-Esteem And Self-Worth Quotes 1. The scriptures tell us not to love ourselves, but to love others more than we love ourselves and put the interests of others above our own. Anything less than this is selfish and vain—and falls short of the … Many of us are disgusted with ourselves or our bodies. Loving yourself is the practice of self-love, and it’s ongoing. If loving yourself is not the answer to a negative self-image, feelings of inferiority, or sense of failure, what is? Note what he says in Acts 20:24, “But none of these things move me; nor do I count my life dear to myself, so that I may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.” Paul also urges Christians to present themselves as a holy sacrifice to the Lord, submitting themselves to the will of God and not to selfishly hold on to the things of this world (Romans 12:8, 13:14). When you do, you will see that loving your neighbor means being concerned about other people — seeking the best for them, and helping them in their time of need. Did Jesus say you must love yourself first? Doug Britton, Bible-based Marriage and Family Therapist, has helped hundreds of thousands of people as a therapist, clinical director of a treatment center, seminar speaker, radio cohost, and author of over twenty books that show how to apply God's truths in your daily life. It is perfectly okay to be single and to love yourself. Everything just has its own timing and there isn't anything wrong with us if we don't get there at the same time as another person. If we aren’t called to love ourselves, does that mean we should hate ourselves? Your confidentiality is assured. Jesus being the prominent example of this and encouraging self-denial in that He says, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. (1 Peter 54:), This is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another. They know the depth of love and breadth of grace that flows out from them toward others wh… Bible Based. Related: Understanding humility—what it is, and what it isn’t. Check out our Bible Answers page for more information on a variety of topics. There’s a cliché saying that you have to love yourself first, before you can deeply love other people, be it your spouse, family or friends – assuming that we know different kinds of love. (Psalm 36:5), But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God’s unfailing love for ever and ever. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy … (2 Timothy 3:1-2). So much negativity about ourselves disappears when we focus on the needs of others above our own needs. But the human love the Bible talks about isn't just a passing emotional state. Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward. Real Answers. Humans are fallen creatures. I believe the popular teaching of self-love falls … #3 Loving Others God's love is a gift to us; it's in us, but we need to release it to others through words and actions. "Warm-fuzzy" love is easy -- until the emotion starts to fade, that is. Leviticus 19:18 “You are not to seek vengeance or hold a grudge against the descendants of your people. Why or why not? But Jesus wasn’t talking about feeling love for ourselves. And as you do, you will attract others into your life who will love you without conditions. Or so we often think. Many people think the “cure” to a poor self-image is to learn to love yourself. Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies. That clearly is not God’s desire. Real Questions. Read the story. The Bible also cautions us to not love the world, or what the world teaches. They think “as yourself” means you cannot love others unless you first love yourself. Home » Miscellaneous » Is the phrase love yourself before you can love others Biblical? Sign up for Doug Britton's newsletter today. No. (see upcoming show time) YesNo. It may be possible to say something such as, “I love myself because God created me, and he loves me.” Or, you might say, “God loves me, so I am lovable.” However, this can be a dangerous road to travel since it’s easy to focus more and more on ourselves — our accomplishments, our popularity, our power, our wealth. What does loving your neighbor “as yourself” mean? Remember that: Loving others starts with being observant. I am the LORD.” Self-worship is a sin. The alternative to loving yourself is not hating yourself. Please remember that you have to love yourself first, before you can then love others. For if we love God most, we will love others best. 40 likes. Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings. The most loving thing we can do for others is love God more than we love them. It is to fully grasp and enjoy God’s love for you. In a world where hurt and pain exists at every turn and words can be carelessly thrown around, the need for loving our neighbor is extremely high. God wants us to love ourselves and our identity in Him! 281 Instances - Page 1 of 10 - Sort by Book Order Expand or Limit Your Search Results: All KJV books Old Testament only New Testament only Apocrypha only (?) And he wasn’t saying to hate your neighbor if you hate yourself. 1 John 3:14 says, We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brothers. We choose to care about another person's welfare, even if that person has hurt us, called us names, ignored us. Jesus was (and is) a superb communicator. It’s a lovely saying for sure, but let’s try to analyze and find the answer to why it’s so important to love yourself first, from a very practical point of view. But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. *They support this idea by pointing to Jesus’’ command to*“love … CBN.com-- Loving other people doesn't mean being "in love" with everyone. Sign up to get 1-2 newsletters a month announcing new online Bible studies and more. : (1 john3:11), Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. He did not give us a third commandment. Visit www.dougbrittonbooks.com for practical, biblical, cross-cultural books, Bible studies, and ebooks. How can you love someone best by loving someone else most? In his letter to the Ephesians, Paul wrote that each husband “must love his wife as he loves himself” (Ephesians 5:33). "LOVE YOURSELF" in the KJV Bible. Should you stop trying to love others until you love yourself (or until you feel love for yourself)? Give your true self to the world and those around you. When you accept and love yourself, you don’t need someone else’s approval or love, and you are likely to believe that you will find someone who you will love, and who will love you. That’s just something people read into the passage. As you love yourself you will realize what you deserve and create your own sense and definition of love. And when you love yourself and the things about you, only then can you properly share yourself to the world. Click here to see what’s new on our website. (John 3:16), But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions — it is by grace you have been saved. For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world. He was simply saying to love other people. The scriptures tell us not to love ourselves, but to love others more than we love ourselves and put the interests of others above our own. The speaker had just given an impassioned speech from Matthew 22:39 about the vitality of self-love and acceptance for our spiritual lives. If you don’t love yourself in a healthy way, you will never be able to love others in the way that you should. If you don’t love yourself how can you love others? Loving yourself certainly makes it easier to love someone else. But those who have encountered the living Christ understand what I mean. Jesus simply said to love others “as yourself.” He didn’t say to love others after you love yourself. When Jesus said to love your neighbor, he wasn’t saying to love your neighbor after you love yourself. For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. Peter upholds love to others and specifically adds that we need to deny ourselves from fleshly lusts that war against the spirit (1 Peter 2:11). Were Cain and Abel the first children of Adam and Eve. 4. Summary: Self-love, or loving yourself. The Samaritan first saw the hurting man. He didn’t say “on these three commandments.”. They support this idea by pointing to Jesus’ command to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:39). Let’s look at another verse that helps us see this point. He didn’t get a text “there’s a hurting man that you’ll see when you travel this way”. The world tells us to love ourselves before we love others, but this stems from a selfish spirit and directly contradicts the Bible. It's something based on choice. Matthew 22:39 reads simply, “A second [command] is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” In popular circles this verse is often paraded as a text which teaches that we are commanded to love ourselves. Permission granted to print for personal use. Sign up for 1-2 newsletters a month announcing new Bible studies and more. Loving others is easy. Your confidentiality is assured. In fact, some people think Jesus said you must love yourself before you can love others. Jesus came and paid the ultimate sacrifice for our sins — not because we deserved it, but because He was a living, breathing example of loving others well. The world tells us to love ourselves before we love others, but this stems from a selfish spirit and directly contradicts the Bible. Explain your answer. (Genesis 1: 27; 1 John 4:8) This means that we are designed to show love for others. No. (Visit www.dougbrittonbooks.com.). And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:34-40). But as many wise figures have remarked over the years, it’s in fact only when you first learn to accept and cherish your own essence that you can find the peace of mind to be truly present for your loved ones — and for your own life. (Psalm 52:8), The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.” (Jeremiah 31:3), How priceless is your unfailing love! When Paul wrote these words, he was writing about selfish, self-centered love—a type of love that is very different from the self-giving love God wants us to have. As a thirteen-year-old, I sat in the auditorium of a youth camp with mixed feelings. Throughout the Bible, we are commanded to love others—without being told to “love ourselves first.” For example: A new command I give you: Love one another. God’s love for me — A personal Bible study on God’s love for us. (Scripture verses are from the New International Version, copyright © 1984.) As the Bible says, “there is more … And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever” (1 John 2:15-17). Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.”. Many people think the Bible says they must love themselves before they can love others, but that is not what Jesus said. Your Question (required) Would you like this question answered on our show? (John 13:34), Do everything in love. Loving yourself is the hard part…. 1. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. It’s not a bar to measure yourself before getting into a relationship. Left dormant, it will stagnate like a pool of water with no outlet. The phrase “love your neighbor as yourself” comes from Jesus’ answer to the question, “Which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” (Matthew 22:36). Summary: Self-love, or loving yourself — Did Jesus say you must love yourself first? Loving ourselves may come naturally for some but loving someone else the same way may be more difficult. “Do not love the world or the things in the world. Enjoy. “And Adam knew Eve his…. You can't give the love you do not have. We will never sell or share your name or email address. God doesn’t want you to go through life saying, “I hate myself.”. LifeTree Books Our Mission Author Doctrinal Beliefs Testimonials, Reprint Policy Newsletter Privacy Policy Seminars Contact Us. But first let’s look a little deeper at the idea of “loving yourself.”. John 13:34-35 TLB says, “And so I am giving a new commandment to you now —love each other just as much as I love you. You will read more about enjoying God’s love later in this study. (I’m sure you would agree it’s obvious this isn’t what Jesus was saying.). After all, I am supposed to love my neighbor the same way I love myself. In fact, without realizing it, we are suggesting that to love yourself is the second greatest commandment, for we are saying it comes before the commandment to love others. LOVE OTHERS. You might say, “But I hate myself” or “I hate my body.” That may seem to be true on one level. Doug Britton, MFT www.dougbrittonbooks.com. There is not one … Though conventional wisdom says yes, the real answer is much more complicated. So get your Bible verse lists out and memorize one a day. The more we experience God’s forgiveness and love, the more we think of him and the less we think about ourselves. (Ephesians 5:29), When Jesus said to love your neighbor “as yourself,” he simply was emphasizing how important it is to love your neighbor, to be genuinely concerned for others’ welfare. Would you like to know more about God’s love? This page is also available in: हिन्दी (Hindi). Was Paul saying a husband can’t love his wife until he learns to love himself? (Ephesians 2:4-5). Once we put ourselves aside, we can rest assured that the Lord will take care of us and provide for all our needs. In a biblical sense, we must love ourselves as the creation of God, humbly serving the righteousness of His will. These Bible verses are about loving others by focusing on the greatest commandment in the Bible: Love your neighbor as yourself. That would have nullified his forceful instructions to husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25-32). Roy T. Bennett. He would have said “on these three commandments” if that was what he meant. He was not adding a third commandment or a precondition to loving others. As you will see, that’s not what Jesus was saying. We don’t need to worry about ourselves, God takes care of His precious children (Matthew 6:25-34). In fact, some people think Jesus said you must love yourself before you can love others. Demonstrate love by giving it unconditionally to yourself. Not necessarily. According to this passage, loving others requires humility, a valuing of others, and a conscious effort to put others’ interests first. Loving yourself, giving grace, forgiveness, treating your body kindly, and resting are just a few ways to love ourselves. We will never sell or share your name or email address. Copyright © 2020 Doug Britton. Since Jesus said to love my neighbor “as myself,” does this mean I should hate my neighbor since I hate myself? If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down. It is part of human nature, part of what it means to be a human being. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others” (Philippians 2:3–4). Following are the Top-100 quotes on loving yourself, self-esteem, self-worth. (1 John 3:18). One of the first steps in finding ways to love others as yourself is noticing them. The key to a positive self-image is to understand how much God loves you. Of course not. In Mark 10:29-37, Jesus showed us what he meant by telling a story about a Samaritan man who helped an injured Jewish man. You can't make anyone love you without loving yourself first.” ― Kemi Sogunle tags: giving-love, inspirational-quotes, love, love-quotes, loving-one-another, loving-others, loving-someone, loving-yourself, loving-yourself-unconditionally, real-talk, reality-of-life, self-love, truth, unconditional-love. I knew something wasnt quite right, but I didnt know what. Copyright © 2021 Doug Britton Books  |  Reprint Policy  |  Privacy Policy  |  To accept the use of cookies, simply continue using this website. Throughout God’s word, you find the concept of love, self-sacrifice, and self denial. If you don’t love yourself how can you love God and live a life to glorify him? Now that you love yourself, it’s time to begin helping others find the highest form of self-love of their own. 2. If you think you should love yourself first, you missed his point, Understanding humility—what it is, and what it isn’t, Knowing God’s love — How to be reconciled to God. One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. Forever. The first part includes inspiring quotes with images, the second part includes popular self-love phrases and sayings without images. Instead, love your neighbor as yourself. They think “as yourself” means you cannot love others unless you first love yourself. Notice that Jesus said, “All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments” (Matthew 22:40). "F.L.Y. Is it absolutely wrong to feel self-love (or to love yourself)? We love because He first loved us. He demonstrated this love in the most powerful way possible when he sacrificed Jesus on the cross to die for our sins. We can have it all. The main reason we run into difficulties in loving others is sin, both ours and that of those we try to love. Philippians 2:3-4 says, “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Throughout the Bible, it is assumed that we love ourselves. Paul reiterates this principle of self-denial or not loving himself in that he sacrificed everything for the sake of the gospel and repeatedly risked his life for the sake of spreading the gospel. But love is not selfish; it seeks the best for others (1 Corinthians 13:5; Philippians 2:3). He was talking about the reality that underneath everything else, at the core of our being — even under self-loathing or self-destructive behavior — we want the best for ourselves. Don't miss out on new Bible studies! Here are 10 reasons why self-love is the best kind of love, and why it's important to love yourself first, before focusing on loving someone else. In this passage, Jesus said there are two great commandments, one of which is to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:34-40). You can only love God and your neighbor as much as you accept and love yourself! Desperately want to escape a negative self-image “ I hate myself. ” Prophets hang these! May be more difficult to fully grasp and enjoy God ’ s time to begin helping find. Wasnt quite right, but that is more verses to this list of top Bible. Water with no outlet our existence by the grace of God, humbly serving the righteousness of will... 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