Here's a look at If you're a dinosaur, a sesame street parody. This does not deserve to be called the best short story the field can produce. A T-Rex would bare its fangs and they would cower. hide. I’d watch the gore shining on your teeth. There were also many Natural catastrophes that helped our planet to become what it is today. This so perfectly tells the story of Reginald Denny. Share Previous Next. Archived. I didn’t know I was thirsting for poetry until I read your story. Review: If You Were A Dinosaur, My Love. I would totally go for a cow or something! I’d trust in your teeth and talons to keep you/me/us safe now and forever from the scratch of chalk on pool cues, and the scuff of the nurses’ shoes in the hospital corridor, and the stuttering of my broken heart. It truly is a very interesting dinosaur fact. I’m glad, though, that it was a short short story. It’s like our little canary in a coal mine, giving us a fair warning. If audiences wept at the melancholic beauty of your singing, they’d rally to fund new research into reviving extinct species. Perhaps that’s why I don’t like it. Green chiffon would turn into leaves. If you were a dinosaur, my love, then you would be a T-Rex. 99% Upvoted. And a well written and entirely correct one. It is sad. This is not speculative fiction, as hard as it tries to make us think so. Are you kidding me?? Well, she knocked this one out of the park, didn’t she! It’s not as bad as the detractors say it is, but it’s a blatant Mary-Sue revenge fantasy. This is SciFi? Her compassion here is relentless, but it’s also a bit of her downfall, because it breaks her out of the safe space of her fantasy. there is no science central to this prose that holds this thing up, and without the science as a backbone it ain’t science fiction. This is your “Danger, Will Robinson,” moment, but you probably don’t notice on your first time through because you’re a little in love, and you’re sad, and the if/then logic of the story is relentless and carries you on even as the warning signals start. If you were a dinosaur, you'd be a gorgesaurus. 12K likes. This draws attention to the fact that the story is a story, the very effect that leads to some people ragging on second person. I just followed Murderbot, so that's starting the week with good life choices. I suppose the world should at least be thankful for that. share. There’s an inherent distance with this story that is very important to the success of its emotional impact. I couldn’t help but notice the specificity. Near the end, you have the *childish* “I’M GONNA KILL THEM!!! Learn How to get free kindle Kids books directly from Amazon at http://AReadingPlace.com/dinosaurs. Your eyes … I would bloom into the most beautiful flower. If I laughed, laughed, laughed, I’d eventually feel guilty. This is beautiful. The girl, still in pajamas, bounces on her bed—where a toy green dinosaur sits—and finally decides, she wants “a pet much bigger, more the size of, well, A HOUSE!” If I Had a Dinosaur celebrates childhood and children’s imaginations and creativity. You communicated a really lovely combination of emotion and defiance. I read and I rebel, because things are rarely this cut and dried, rarely as simple as they are portrayed here, like this person, hate those, these are the good guys, those are the bad: I can get easy simple polarized views at any particular biased news outlet of my choice, and this is junk, no offense to anybody who may or may not have been hurt in any inspiring incident that may or may not have occurred. Another predator, gotta take out the competition. Thanks. I would say get a clue, but I’m quite sure you wouldn’t recognize one. I don’t mean to speak for him, but the meaning I took is that if the antagonists in this story were minorities from an urban area, the reaction would be very different. share. Posted by 6 months ago. I couldn’t read past the first two sentenses. The map — available here — lets you input your hometown (or any city you want) to see where it was in the world millions of years ago. It is magnificently beautiful. He’d have the power and ferocity of a dinosaur, not to do violence, but to avoid it. A brilliantly written love story with a sharp haunting edge to it. if you were a dinosaur, you'd be a Gorgeousaurus morelenmir. I’d avert my eyes from the newspapers when they showed photographs of the men’s tearful widows and fatherless children, just as they must avert their eyes from the newspapers that show my face. ( Log Out /  This lesson is the second of a two-part series on dinosaurs. Your claws and fangs would intimidate your foes effortlessly. My idea of what makes something SFnal has broadened over the past couple of years by reading diverse works that treat SF in different ways. save. You see, the outdated idea that dinosaurs were slow was partly due to the notion that they were likely cold blooded like modern reptiles. Am currently working on a dream story and am stuck in plot clay. We like her for that. Of the three most common pets, she likes dogs, has a cat, and a fish is simply too wet! (Hint: for commenting on this purposes, you should, too.). Hugo Award finalist, Nebula Award winner, World Fantasy Award finalist, Welcome to Your Authentic Indian Experience™, A Witch’s Guide to Escape: A Practical Compendium of…, each thing i show you is a piece of my death, Sister Rosetta Tharpe and Memphis Minnie Sing the…, Bonus 2021 International Fantasists Issue, https://apex-magazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/apex01.mp3. 1249 Tripp Ave If you sang unrequited love songs, I’d take you on tour. Wanting to protect and defend somebody like that is admirable. (The preceding records, Dinosaur, You're Living All Over Me and Bug, were reissued last year by Merge.) See whole one liner: Girl, if you were a dinosaur, you'd be a at Onelinefun.com Search in the largest collection of one liners and puns All one liners Choose by topic For special events New one liners nonsense. They’d run. You’d be a small one, only five feet, ten inches, the same height as human-you. If you were a dinosaur, my love, I’d teach you the scents of those men. Summary: Upon reflection, Taehyung's predilection for having sex in the back of the raptors' enclosure almost always comes with a drawback: the very interested eyes of the entire raptor pack. The only bigotry I ever see is from the educated people, especially the socialists. A gentle lure before a hard squeeze on the heart. I was all smiles until you wrung tears from me. I would stretch joyfully toward the sun. We’d go to Broadway. What is meaningful to students at this level is exploration of the dinosaur world that once existed. I’d watch as you decanted their lives—the flood of red; the spill of glistening, coiled things—and I’d laugh, laugh, laugh. The woman has a vivid premonition that the man has raped her and hooked her child on crack. If I could give it an award I’d do so. Very well-written and moving. It establishes the structure of the story as a series of If/then statements. I think the assumptions by some of the more libertarian bent people like Hoyt are hilarious about this story. I’m asking since you said that your university was better than theirs. And suddenly 2020 makes perfect sense, as a long game to make sure Biden doesn't get better optics on his inaugurat…. A woman was walking down the street with her young child. It’s a story about a woman telling herself a science fiction story. this is a fever dream of a woman who has issues. Such ignorant fear of the unknown, of the working people you have never deigned to speak to, so never understood outside the arrogant prejudices of the “educated” left. I suppose we can expect that from works of writing. Change ), You are commenting using your Facebook account. Safe. Change ). I would be borrowed, too, because I’d be borrowing your happiness. Audiences would weep at the melancholic beauty of your singing. View More. If you were a dinosaur, you'd be a gorgesaurus. For example, if you traveled back to the dinosaur age, or it traveled to you in some kind of scientific disaster, you might find yourself running from a duplex-sized reptile. Sara ErnstImagine. Well-written and written with artistry, but I don’t like what it says. Money would flood into scientific institutions. This was amazing. It was quite beautifully done. Up ahead she sees a black man walking toward her. In said book, a mother consoles her child through several hypotheticals where her son is some sort of animal/creature. I don’t like what Dostoyevsky’s stories say either. Let’s talk about that elided frame story for a moment. You’d stand onstage, talons digging into the floorboards. Assuming. You should have won the hugo award for this odd but powerful and touching piece. !” response to violence, followed by realizing the ethical impact of such. Really? And because those with a damaged empathy never fail to reveal themselves when they read it. But I very much don’t like it. Your flow was effortless and smooth. From any genre. They’d work until they’d built you a mate. Log in or sign up to leave a comment Log In Sign Up. ! "If You Were a Dinosaur, My Love" is a short story by American writer Rachel Swirsky. Albeit, with the children’s book releasing 10 years earlier. Synopsis. It doesn’t deserve the accolades. Far, far away from the SciFi genre. if you do please take my others, … When you thought I was asleep, you’d cry unrequited love songs into the night. The worst kind of story I can think of. The only other place I can think of off-hand that has a structure like this is a lullaby and I don’t think that’s an accident. I would astonish everyone assembled, the biologists and the paleontologists and the geneticists, the reporters and the rubberneckers and the music aficionados, all those people who—deceived by the helix-and-fossil trappings of cloned dinosaurs-- believed that they lived in a science fictional world when really they lived in a world of magic where anything was possible. You’d harmonize with me, your rough, vibrating voice a strange counterpoint to mine. Write on. She’s happy, but her heart is breaking, and this is her fantasy. i think i could write an actual scifi story and i haven’t taken any sort of writing class since i was in high school over 10 years ago. This may have helped at some subliminal level. What would you eat if you were on an island by yourself? Enjoy. Still, the idea that non-avian dinosaurs were uniformly gigantic is a misconception based in part on preservation bias, as large, sturdy bones are more likely to last until they are fossilized. They’d grasp each other for comfort instead of seizing the pool cues with which they beat you, calling you a fag, a towel-head, a shemale, a sissy, a spic, every epithet they could think of, regardless of whether it had anything to do with you or not, shouting and shouting as you slid to the floor in the slick of your own blood. "Right over there," says the store clerk. Funny, Sarcastic, Blunt bitch quotes that will make you laugh! If You Were A Dinosaur, My Love by Rachel Swirsky is a second person POV story that works really well. Congratulations on your Hugo nomination. And, I make no assumption that this story vilifies working class people at all. I’d stare at the two of you standing together by the altar and I’d love you even more than I do now. Hate speech against whom?! I was reading so much because I wanted to find out what made a story worthy of a Nebula. “That wasn’t a review, it was Twitter snark.”. The massive dinosaur would chase you, and chances are, it would catch up to you. The paleontologist’s fiancée who waits by the bedside of a man who will probably never wake. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it’s not the T-Rex who goes on, in hypothetical if/then-land, to instigate violence, but his zookeeper partner who leads him to the enemies. Your eyes would gaze gently from beneath your bony brow-ridge. Shifty Bitwise This might be my polyamorous heart talking, but if you don’t love the narrator, just a little bit, by that line, I question either your reading comprehension or your capacity for human sentiment. That wasn’t a review, it was Twitter snark. yeah, i agree that this isn’t actually sci-fi. I am weeping. This is very, very well-written. far away. I loved every word of this. If I sang you lullabies, I’d soon notice how quickly you picked up music. Close. Her short fiction has been published in a number of magazines and anthologies, including. That might not necessarily have been the case, though. Terrific story. Ignore the Philistines and the trolls, milady Swirsky. If we lived in a world of magic where anything was possible, then you would be a dinosaur, my love. What it does in this case is create a relationship between the narrator and the reader. Of course. meh, it’s derivative of Rachel Swirsky, and your imagery isn’t SFnal enough. Wow – It’s If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, only for grown-ups. In today’s post, I will be writing about if I was a dinosaur. It also sneaks in exposition about what’s going on in the (completely elided) frame story. 1 comment. The story structure stumbles after this, breaking, for the first time, into a discussion of the real here and now instead of the implications of a world where her love is a dinosaur. Biologists would reverse engineer chickens until they could discover how to give them jaws with teeth. Can you take a moment to appreciate the forest before rebuking a single shrub? It is well deserved! Reader, Rachel Swirsky just stabbed you in the guts by breaking a pattern. Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Whereas you—fragile, lovely, human you—must rely on wits and charm. A Kids video book about dinosaur. All I’d need would be something blue. Apex Magazine is a genre zine that focuses on dark and spectacular science fiction, fantasy, and horror. Your nostrils would flare as you inhaled the night and then, with the suddenness of a predator, you’d strike. People are still angry about “Equations” over fifty years later, and it took me over a year to properly understand what Hand was doing with “Flight”. Rich people are also drunks, pool players and bigots.So if you assume that from reading it, what does that about your own assumptions. For those pondering whether it truly counts as SF, consider this: it is a metafictional story. hide. Gorgeous and so sad–a wonderful story, thank you. it’s an interesting story but, as another commenter pointed out, it’s science fiction fiction; the real story is the narrator’s, which is firmly grounded in reality. Great story! Congratulations to Rachel Swirsky for the deserved Nebula Award. Wonderful prose and a good, creative, unusual story. There were three pigs. If you were a dinosaur, which one would you be? ( Log Out /  If you'd rather, you can learn about many of these amazing dinosaur facts by watching the movie: Forbidden History: Dinosaurs and the Bible. best. The person telling us an SF story is not Rachel Swirsky, it is the unnamed fiancee of the brutalized paleontologist. A magnificent story. I hope you enjoy my quiz. If they built you a mate, I’d stand as the best woman at your wedding. If you were a dinosaur, my love, then you would be a T-Rex. Still, I’d know that it was for the best that you marry another creature like yourself, one that shares your body and bone and genetic template. If you were a dinosaur... what would you be? No one who goes over the wall is... Y’all some weak people this story is not even sad come on now. Nebula Award Winner and, thus far, Hugo Award Nominee. He gulped it up and asked where the bathroom is. You have been shivved by a master. None has ever so much as commented negatively upon my education except in positive terms, nor on anyone else’s skin colour or background. But don’t panic. However, these are hypotheticals I’ve already read before, and though they are made more interesting by the implementation of a dinosaur as a character: I do not personally believe the existence of a dinosaur in a story to be a legitimate enough reason for it to be categorically science fiction. If you gave the Haydens a cookie, they’d expect to control the Hugos EVERY year. It was first published in Apex Magazine in 2013. If you were a T-Rex, then I would become a zookeeper so that I could spend all my time with you. It’s not science fiction, it’s science fiction fiction. My happiness would become petals. Wow. One of those stories that leave me wishing I had written it. That implies that working class normal people are drunks,play pool and are bigots. Well, imagine how you'd feel if you were the single member of your time-traveling expedition who happened to materialize right beneath the tail of a cramped-up Bruhathkayosaurus—and you were instantly smothered by a 300-pound load of steaming hot dinosaur poop. As a paleontologist lies in a coma, his fiancée tells him how things would be different if he were a Tyrannosaurus rex. lots of fun, silly & even useful things to do when you just happen to find a dinosaur laying around the house. There’s no explicit frame story, but you’re about to find out what happened anyway. In the same way that “Misery” isn’t a romance novel, but is a novel about romance novels. save. It is told in the conditional tense, but that doesn’t ban it from the genre–if anything, that heightens its “speculative” tone. You, like Triceratops, have a big head. Terrible story, by the way. If you were a dinosaur, my love, then you would be a T-Rex. For anybody who missed the brouhaha, the high level (and very charitable) rendering of the argument is that the people who read the story and went “OMG, Rachel Swirsky, you just broke my heart,” got into a fight with people who looked at the story and went, “Uh, that’s not speculative.”  I have opinions about the respective camps, but they’re not pertinent here, so I’ll ignore them. Lacking in theme, character arc and denouement. When I read it, I wondered if it was based on a real incident. whatever its an alright story. I’d lead you to them quietly, oh so quietly. Issue content is made available for free on this website via piecemeal over the two months between issues. I was awed and, I dare even say, humbled by your writing. Thanks and congratulations on your award. All I can say is, I wish I’d written it. She’s emotionally shattered, after all. Totally some kind of plant, I'm a vegetarian! I remember thinking it was beautifully written, but I struggled wtih seeing it as SF. 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Hilarious dinosaur Pick up Lines Here you will find funny, Sarcastic Blunt!